The fires of hell

If someone offers you coconut oil with chili extract as a mosquito repellent, just say NO.

Not because it doesn’t work (it does!) but because it burns like the fires of hell. It burns even after you think you’ve washed it all off (twice).

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If you do use it, don’t do anything that makes you sweat (like playing badminton, for example), and on no account scratch your nose (me), your mouth (my colleague), your eyes, or any other sensitive areas (gentlemen using the bathroom should take note).

However, if you can stand the pain and want to cure your dog of its desire to lick you, apply freely. Please note: my landlady’s dog does not recommend the latter.

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If you find yourself in a position where the only things that stands between you and malaria / dengue / Chikungunya / West Nile fever, by all means give it a try. I might have been in agony the rest of the night, but I didn’t get bitten after applying it.

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I’m also fairly sure it would make a very effective contraceptive (by permanently ending your relationship).